Saturday, December 16, 2006

Be Careful What You Pray For...

A few months ago an idle thought passed through my mind. I wondered if I was becoming complacent about my faith. Life was good, I was cruising. Yet I was beginning to feel a distance in my relationship with Jesus. My prayer time was spent on petitions for others, people I know who were struggling with major hardship in their lives. Did I, somewhere in that lazy, idyllic time, tacitly ask God to strengthen my faith?

My friend, Tim, had a post awhile back about a worship song, Blessed Be Your Name. I thanked him for posting on a subject that I thought about often and told him I hoped I would always be surrounded by the kind of people who would help me when I stumbled. And I am.

Now, less than a month since that post, the bottom has dropped out and the assault is from multiple directions. I asked my boss a few days ago " much does God think I can take?" Never never never ask that question!! It's like praying for patience; "So, you want patience, do you? Ok, I'll teach you patience..." and you end up in a traffic jam or in the longest line at the store and in any and every other situation that frustrates you, over and over again until the lesson is learned.

Experience has taught me that I will be stronger for this pain. I'll learn new facets of my Father that I didn't know before. I know that when everything else is stripped away He will still be there, always, holding me. I know He's teaching me and loving me. A few years ago I might have been asking "Why is this happening?" Now I'm just asking "What's next?" and choosing to say Lord, Blessed be Your Name .